Cubicle to Fit-ish

How a wimp becomes fit(ish)

If a tree falls in my yard, does anyone hear me stuffing my face?

AKA: Life during the Tree-pocalyspe

I need to start this off by saying how lucky I am.  I still have a house and hot water.  No one I know was hurt or killed by the hurricane. 

Hurricane Irene knocked one of my neighbor’s trees down, ripping the power and cable lines from my house.  After multiple calls, we found out that we needed a permit, an electrician and an inspection before they could even consider turning our power back on. 


Now I love my guy, but we know that a week in a dark house would end in a Thunderdome moment (2 people enter, 1 person leaves); I’m a reader.  He is NOT.  + a puppy.

So after spending Sunday night in the dark, we hightailed it to a hotel.  Now, mind you, this hotel has a kitchenette IN OUR ROOM.  And a fitness center.  And free laundry (?!).  But, I have used this week to eat my way through the fast food spectrumMcDonalds.  BK.  Chips.  Pizza…

… and I have been super sick every night!  Guess I can’t live like I was still in college anymore, can I?  Haha!  Suffice it to say, I will be quite glad to get back into a routine.  I just bought 10lb weights before the storm!  Bring it on!

And, I am super excited to clean out my fridge and start over.  For real.  New condiments.  All those hidden freezer cookies (what?  You don’t hide emergency cookie dough in your freezer?) gone.  Bring on the vegetables and fruits!  Well… after I get the smell out of my house.  At least we got someone to take all of the frozen steak tips and pork tenderloin.  I may need to disappear when everything is being thrown out.  YUCK!

So, it has been a quiet week, blog wise, with good reason.  Not much healthy going on.  However, next week is my mental health week (a staycation, really).  I plan to get back into good routines and good habits and cull out those stress points (clean out my closet, get some clothes that fit, new hair cut, etc.)…

If you had 7 days to change your life, what would you do?


August 31, 2011 Posted by | Remy, tree-pocalypse | , , , , , | Leave a comment

5 Things I’m Loving Right Now Friday #2

Another attempt to see the good, rather than focus on what is wrong and SMILE MORE.  And, what better day than Friday to think about things that make you happy?

  1. Doctor Who comes back tomorrow night.  I am way too excited.  If there was a number before 1, I would make it that.
    • As I’ve said, I love my shows.  My relationship with them is more romantic than my actual relationship (that isn’t a burn; I’m totally happy with my guy); I see the show…  I try to pretend I’m not that into it – but, I start stalking blogs, reviews, fan sites… then, I just dive whole-heart into it and devote countless hours into watching, re-watching, reviewing, and obsessing.  It is who I am.
    • Doctor Who is the epitome of this for me.  The history, the humor, the accents…  I could go on and on comparing Doctors and plot lines, but I’ll keep it to a. Love the Weeping Angels; b. Like the dark, fairy tale-ish, stories about stories and legends focus the Moffat years have done so far; c. did not LOVE the past Christmas special; d. I don’t think you can compare Tennant and Smith as the show seems so completely set in a different world; e. I kind of miss when the Daleks and Cyber Men were not around all the freaking time – they used to be special and now, when they show up, it is like “whatever….;” f. I don’t pretend to know everything about the old school Doctors – but think understanding the show’s history gives all of it more meaning.
    • I got a TARDIS cookie jar for Christmas last year.
    • I hold people hostage and try to get them as obsessed as I am.  I mean Let’s Kill Hitler?! How could you NOT want to watch that?
  2. Progress!  Even though my boot camp test didn’t go quite as planned (more on that next week), I’ve noticed that certain exercises are getting easier for me.  Burpees (my idea of hell as it involves jump squatting AND a plank) are actually being done in succession, rather than jumping at the end of one and gasping for air for a bit.  I can also jump back into plank and forward into the crouched squat with both feet – before, all I could do was step back and forth with one foot at a time, which looses a lot of the benefits…  I can also get through the warm up much better – one minute of jumping jacks isn’t as bad as I though it was…
  3. Trader Joe’s Seedless Grape Medley: I know… I know… the link is to the duet – but, I got the medley with the green, red and dark purple grapes and it was like heaven.  I am not a big fruit or veggie person, but I ate these all week for dessert and they were delicious!  Baby steps…
  4. DVR’s:
    • I have always needed a lot of alone time.  I am not a naturally social person.  I like going to the movies by myself.  I like reading.  I like watching my shows without interruption.  I am lucky to have found friends and a guy who are cool with this.  And it isn’t that I need to be alone ALL OF THE TIME – I just need to have independent time to just have my thoughts.
    • This is something that becomes heightened during stressful or bad times.  When I was depressed in my 20’s, I used to plan out my life by what was on tv.  I couldn’t miss The West Wing, so Wednesdays were not a night I would plan anything on.  And there was SOMETHING on every night.  Even if it was fun and awesome and I mean, honestly, Lindsay, they have repeats for a reason!!!  But, I stayed in.  All the time.  It wasn’t healthy.
    • I am much better now (growing up and having an actual life helps a lot), but I still get sad if I miss my shows.  The DVR has changed my life.  I can watch, and re-watch, my shows WHENEVER I WANT!
    • And, this may seem super shallow, but I’m not ashamed.  Everyone has things that they irrationally love.  A sports team.  Church.  Shopping.  Mine just happens to be movies and tv shows.
  5. Jasper Fforde’s Thursday Next series (and how Jasper Fforde spells his name): I’m a reader (big surprise).  I used to have blog where I talked about the books I re-read every year (there are about 100 of them).  The Thursday Next series are included in that.  There are in-jokes for Lit Lovers and fans, but the plots themselves (and, well, there are a lot of them) are just so well done and interesting.  These books don’t get boring and you don’t have to be a die-hard Lit freak to get something out of them.  And, “Fforde” is just a great spelling of such a simple name.  The extra F and E just make me smile.

No boot camp this Saturday, so I am hoping to rest my ankle and toe, get some actual rest (see what I did there?) and survive the hurricane without feeling like I was mainlining cereal the whole time…

Hi, my name is Lindsay and I have a Wheat Chex problem…

August 26, 2011 Posted by | 5 Things I’m Loving Right Now Friday, back story, Books, boot camp, Doctor Who, General Nerdiness, smile more goals, Who am I? | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Lessons learned this week…

  1. There is a lot of prep work involved with clean eating.  Yikes.  Last night I gave up and we had tater tots for dinner.  Delicious, but not the point.  I guess maybe I need to prep everything on Sundays and just heat things up? 
  2. I actually miss the gym when I can’t run because of my stupid cut toe.  Actually, that leads me to #3. 
  3. Snakes are dangerous, even if they only attack your imagination. 
  4. Getting super stressed about promotion testing at boot camp makes me eat potato chips and a kit kat for lunch.  My stomach hates me right now.  Or, maybe my mind and willpower do.  I remember when I could live on chips and candy without a second thought….  Oh, youth is wasted on the young. 
  5. I haven’t been going to bed early enough.  I started having dreams of my alarm clock chasing me. 
  6. Even if the recipe doesn’t say to, always put some baking spray down when making pumpkin hermits…  Just look at them – they were hanging on for dear life!


August 25, 2011 Posted by | boot camp, eating clean, Running, smile more goals, Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Better Outlook and Less Snakes for One, Please…

Last week was overwhelming.  Hence, radio (blog) silence.

There are major changes going on at my day job.  I still have a job, which is wonderful, but my role and boss and structure will be changing and we are currently in a month of limbo and I just hate it.  Not knowing is not fun.

And, then, my guy went to New Hampshire for the weekend (which is usually no biggie – I am not as hysterical being home alone anymore – bumps in the night are not my friend).  However, as we were saying goodbye with a rousing game of fetch (with the puppy, of course, not just the two of us as that would be super weird), he told me to back away into the house.  I should have listened to him (but don’t tell him I said that), but I stepped forward instead and there it was.  A snake.  A SNAKE!

…ok.  It was a tiny little garden snake.  But, it was a snake all the same.  Creepy, slimy little buggers.  When I went to take the puppy out later that night – in flip flops and my glasses – something wet and slimy touched my foot.  It was probably a lead, but, in my head, it was the SNAKE!  I tried to run, hit the edge of the deck with my poor big toe and sliced it down the side and basically fell into the house.

I have one of those dogs that always looks like he is smiling, but, I swear, this time he was laughing at me.

I didn’t totally give up on the week, though, which is a huge win for me.

  • I still went to boot camp (Thursday night for Muy Thai punches and kicks, Saturday for the circuit – which I probably should have skipped with my toe and all…  I spent the rest of the weekend icing that and my knee.  Turkish Get Ups are not my friend either).
  • I didn’t get fast food or movie popcorn while my guy was gone (I tend to use his absence as an excuse to go back to my secret single behaviors involving McDonalds and buttered popcorn as my only food sources).
  • I dyed my hair reddish and did a lot of thinking.  This is my first semester not teaching (as my second job) and I really want to use my time to be happier and have fun.

And, I still planned out my first week of easing into Eating Clean.  My kickass friend Jill (who is super inspiring!) has had a lot of success with it.  My goal is to work up to “eating clean” for 80% of the time, so I can enjoy my 20% without the guilt I have been feeling lately.  I feel like I am always thinking about food, which is not where I want to live my life.  I want to  stress less, eat better, move around, and SMILE MORE.  Life is not that bad.  I need to cheer up, ASAP!

For example, I get to work at 7:45 and have a bowl of cereal and a Nutri-Grain bar.  By 9AM, I’m hungry, so I have some fig newtons.  By 11AM, I am starving, so I have a roll and another Nutri-Grain bar for “lunch…”  And, on it goes.

I am hoping that my incorporating some of the Eating Clean principles into my diet, it will help me have the energy to do everything that I want to do…  I only have 3 months or so to finish my 33 Things to do While I am 33 list – I need to get moving!

This week’s Smile More Goals:

  • Have a protein, complex carb, and fruit/vegetable at every meal
  • Try three new recipes and write about them
  • Have an awesome anniversary dinner with my guy this weekend
  • Get some sleep
  • Take 4 walks
  • Stop taking everything so seriously

August 22, 2011 Posted by | 33 Things to do While I'm 33, a case of the Mondays, boot camp, eating clean, guilt, Remy, smile more goals, Who am I? | , , | Leave a comment

5 Things I’m Loving Right Now Friday #1

I tend to write a lot about things that upset me or frustrate me, so, in an effort to be more positive (apparently answering the phone with “what’s wrong?” repeatedly is a cry for help), I’m going to try and focus my Friday posts on 5 things that rocked my world each week.

  1. Trader Joe’s Sea Salt Brownies: I had them a month ago and I can’t get them out of my head.  For those of us who only like sweet with salty, these are the perfect treat.  And, they’re petites, so you get three little bites as a serving, which is perfect if you can stop yourself.
  2.  Danny Pudi: I am a huge fan of Community.  Maybe it is because I teach at a community college part time; maybe it is because I was not as good of a student as people thought I was, maybe because it is freaking hilarious.  The entire ensemble is strong, flexible, and smart, but Danny Pudi just makes the show for me.  Abed is unconsciously snarky, innocent, calculating, and genuine.  This links to a mock Fringe audition Danny Pudi did, but I just listened to him on the Nerdist podcast at the gym this week and his mix of heart, humor and Polish dancing is right up my alley.
  3. Nick Flynn’s Another Bullshit Night in Suck City: Nick Flynn is one of my favorite poets (“First thing we should do / if we see each other again is to make / a cage of our bodies—inside we can place / whatever still shines.”), but, it is this memoir that I return to constantly.  Not to get too personal, it touches on a lot of themes close to my heart and the portrayal of mental illness, family, volunteerism and aggression is lovely, in a dirty and funny way.  And, apparently, it is going to be a movie.
  1. Remy: I have a puppy. His name is Remy and he is a wheaten terrier that is turning 2 next week (and, yes, he is getting presents).  It is practically impossible to have a bad day when 35 lbs of love launches himself at you from a couch as you walk in the door.  My dog is always smiling, even when he kicks me so that he can have the center of the bed…
  1. Working Out Instead of Acting Out: This has been a super-rough week at my day job.  The old Lindsay would have gone to the store after work each day; bought a magazine, a box of Frosted Flakes, and some croissants; and just sit on the couch eating her feelings all night.  Not this week.  Not this Lindsay.  This week, my boyfriend and I hit Best Buy for some Tax Free Weekend prep on Monday, Wednesday I hit the gym for a 35 minute run, and yesterday, I went to boot camp (although, I did cry a little listening to Adele on the drive down) and worked as hard as I could.  I love, Love, LOVE that exercise is becoming my go to for stress.  That is the person that I want to be.

So, what does the weekend have in store for me?  Boot camp on Saturday AM (I think we are doing Thai punches and kicks), Tax Free shopping on Saturday afternoon (thank god, as my IPod died on Wednesday – RIP Mini; you were a good friend), movie night Saturday night and a Sunday of visiting the parents and hanging with my guy and a friend.

And, hey, it can’t be worse than this week!

Yeah, I need to work on that positivity thing… haha!

August 12, 2011 Posted by | 5 Things I’m Loving Right Now Friday, Remy, Who am I? | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Need to Focus on my 80%

I keep gaining weight.  I know it’s just five pounds and, in the long run, it won’t matter, but I am super-frustrated.  Not at the five pounds.  At myself.

For the longest time, I kept telling myself it was muscle.  Like, “I’m not at a plateau, I’m just gaining SO MUCH muscle from boot camp that it is negating my weight loss because I’m so out of shape.”  Or, “I gained weight this week, but it’s muscle.  I can tell.”

I can’t tell.  And I don’t think it is muscle, anymore.  It’s my eating habits.

I’ve been working out consistently for the first time in my life.  I go to boot camp twice a week.  I run at the gym on Tuesdays.  I wear my pedometer and try and be as active as I can (even walking around my work in this freaking humidity so that my hair looks like the love child between a perm and an unkempt potted plant).  I actually like exercising.  I look forward to boot camp.  I get excited when I can finally do a curl and press with the 12lb weights and get them both pressed at the same time (up until Saturday, I had to lift one at a time because I thought I’d crack my head open – HUGE win!).  When I run at the gym, I am super-hyped because I am RUNNING!  Not walking.  It is awesome and I love it.

But I keep gaining weight.

It was both vanity and my desire to be fit(ish) that pushed me to start eating better and begin working out (6 months of being weak and sick with vacation pics where I was 40lbs heavier are great motivators, haha).  I joined WW Online.  I started (and stopped and started and stopped) walking on a treadmill at the gym.  I made an effort.  Then, my workouts got kicked up a notch when I joined boot camp and I’ve been really consistent ever since with the working out.  But, WW gets old for me and I start lying on my tracker (or not tracking at all).  Then, I stop bringing my lunch and go back to having cheezits and fig newtons or potato chips and oreos.  Then, I make cereal a dessert and it is no wonder I am gaining weight.

I keep reading that losing weight is 20% what you put in at the gym and 80% what you put into yourself (which fuels what your body does before, during, and after the gym).  I need to start focusing on what I am eating so I don’t slide back to where I was.  But, I love food.  I watch food tv every afternoon.  I am trying to learn how to cook (trying and learn being the operative words – who knew you could roast a chicken upside down?!).  I don’t want to become super manic about what, when, and how I eat, but I need to find a way to eat better food.  Real food.  That doesn’t come out of box.

I’m easing into this.  Extremes are not my friend.  This week, I am focusing on bringing my lunch every day (yay chicken and veggies) and not having cereal for dinner.  Next, I am going to read up on whole food based eating plans.  I don’t want to give up yummy food (or bread.  Or dessert.  Or cookies.), I just want to eat BETTER yummy food.

We’ll see.  At least I know I’m the problem.  Now I need to be the solution.

August 8, 2011 Posted by | a case of the Mondays, back story, boot camp, guilt, my hair, Running, Who am I? | , , | 2 Comments

Falling Can Be Better Than Flying

I made a rookie mistake this weekend and have been paying for it ever since; but, it has motivated me to refocus, which can’t be a bad thing…

It’s been hot.  I am a baby about the heat (hence, I’ve spent most of my summers in bookstores and movie theaters), but it really has been insanely warm.  90 degrees with one million % humidity – I can’t even get my hair straight before I leave the house!  Despite this, I’ve been super proud that I’ve been walking at work on my breaks, running at the gym on Tuesdays, and consistently  attending boot camp – even when he threatens to have us outside.

Saturday was no exception.  But, I had a friend sunscreen me up and we started working out inside.  Mind you, I have to eat breakfast before class (I’m not one of those people who can work out on an empty stomach).  Before I left, I had 8oz of Gatorade (I may love my Diet Coke, but even I can’t handle carbonation before jumping jacks and all that), a bowl of cheerios, and a yogurt.  I have a 40 minute drive to boot camp, so my food always settles before I get there.

During boot camp, I generally down 16 oz of water between water breaks between circuits and my ride home.  It was a super hard class (and I got frustrated as my knee started to click and hurt during lunges, alligator crawls, and some godawful medicine ball stand up/sit down thing) and I worked wicked hard.  I’m not one who sweats a lot (maybe it was that I wasn’t working hard enough, maybe I’m chronically under hydrated, maybe I just glisten, haha), but I was DRENCHED – like soaked sports bra, hot sweaty nastiness, straight to the shower when I got home DRENCHED.  But I had my whole water bottle and then went out to lunch and had a Diet Coke (16oz).  I thought I was fine

Our instructor even reminded us to rehydrate before we left.  I thought I had done enough.  Obviously not, though.  We got home from lunch (and picking up the puppy from the groomer – so adorable!!) and I was exhausted.  We all decided to take a nap for an hour.  Three hours later, I could barely function.  I was dizzy and nauseous and what I thought was hangry (hungry + angry because I’m hungry).  I had a bowl of cereal and a glass of water.  I felt worse.  Another glass of water and I made it to feeling meh.  We watched the game and I stumbled into bed.

Then, my whole system freaked out.  I could feel my stomach grinding and jumping all around.  My head was spinning and I started dry heaving every hour or so, which caused said puppy to chase me from the bedroom to the bathroom every hour on the hour (and jump on said boyfriend’s head on reentry to the bedroom).  It was not fun. 

Having been through some medical drama last year, I knew what this was – welcome back to dehydration.  I spent Sunday attached to some Gatorade and taking it easy, but still felt pretty crappy.  I am proud that I made it to the supermarket and we prepped all of our dinners for this week, though.

I should have been pushing liquids on Saturday.  I know this.  I know a lot of things.  I know I should eat more (any) fruits and vegetables.  I know I should stop treating Diet Coke like it is water and just drink some water.  I know I should start having more respect for myself and treating myself better because I am hurting my body over and over again with this nonsense.

So I made my step and gym goals for last week, but at what cost, really?  I’ve decided to refocus my fit(ish) activities on health for the month of August as I feel I am getting too caught up in the numbers (hey, I went to the gym twice, I can have 5 rolls for dinner) and not really being healthier.  My checks are becoming excuses, in some ways.


  • Drink 60 oz of water a day
  • Get some sleep!
  • Bring my lunch to work MF
  • Have a fruit and a vegetable each day
  • Gym on Tuesday, boot camp on Thursday and Friday

Slow and steady and all that.  I need to remember that I learn more from falling than from flying…

August 1, 2011 Posted by | boot camp, Diet Coke, ick, sweating | Leave a comment

Getting Away from All or Nothing

For the past couple of months, I’ve been wearing a pedometer for work (I work in health insurance, so they have a huge wellness program where you can participate in different programs and earn a day off for the following year; this initiative gives you a certain number of points for however many steps you take with a points goal for the entire 6 months it runs).  Now, I may not be the most active person, but I’ve always felt that I did a good job moving around during the day.  I try to get up from my cubicle every hour, even if it is just to walk and get some water, and 9 times out of 10, I take the stairs instead of the elevator – unless I am REALLY late for a meeting!  I even do the 15 minute walking path around the building 1 or 2 times a day (unless it is wicked humid, raining, or a super awful day).

However, turns out I am super wrong (this is probably why people keep food and activity journals).  Our goal is to take 7,000 steps a day.  On Tuesdays when I run at the gym, I hit 12,000.  I don’t wear the pedometer at bootcamp (the first pedometer is free, but you have to pay to replace it and I don’t want to break it), but on Thursdays, I usually hit between 5,000-7,500 even without wearing for my class.  Fridays, when I go out shopping with a friend, I usually hit between 5,000-7,500, too.  On these days, my mind is usually on my health (I eat super well and try and be more active on days I work out, and I am always concerned with going too nuts at Friday night dinner with my friend, so I try to be more active to balance off the deliciousness).

It’s the other days – Mondays, Wednesdays, and Sundays, that I barely break 3,000.  It is so bad.  And, on Mondays and Wednesdays, I take most of my steps at work – even with walking around the building (1,500 steps) – and barely 500-1,000 once I get home from work.  AND I have a puppy… who loves to RUN OUTSIDE (preferably after a rabbit).  Yesterday, Sunday, I didn’t even make it to 2,000.

I have written before about being a person of extremes, but it hits so much harder when you are looking at a chart of you activity and it is mountains when you want it to be a straight line (or, an upwards trend, at least).  I read all the time about how yoyo dieting is so dangerous and how consistent exercise and activity is practically the best investment you can make for yourself.  Consistency has always been my downfall (well, one of my downfalls, haha), but I’ve never really seen how inconsistent I am.

I think I am going to make a goal to do something active every day this week (be it walk around the building twice or take Remy – the puppy referenced earlier – to the park to run around, or just jump rope in my backyard) that I don’t have a scheduled workout.  I don’t want to be all or nothing – I want to find a happy medium.  I love lazy days where I watch too much Doctor Who or Community, or go to multiple movies, or read read read.  But, I like the me that wants to be moving and active and strong just as much.  There has to be a balance between Lazy Lindsay and Active Lindsay – I just haven’t found it yet.  I don’t want to burn out, but I do want to keep progressing.  I never knew how much I could push myself before I started all of this.  I just have to trust my body and mind to tell me when I am pushing too hard and know when to rest and be lazy because I need it (not just because it is easier).

Hopefully, I can pick this up next Monday and have made 7,000 steps (at least!) every day this week.  That would be a wonderful way to end the month…  I am not a summer person (bring on the fall), but this one has been quite enlightening.  I am so ready for the heat way to be done, though, and so is my hair!

July 25, 2011 Posted by | my hair, pedometer, Running, Who am I? | Leave a comment

Other People’s Birthdays Were the Perfect Excuse…

My boyfriend’s birthday was yesterday; obviously, we have spent the entire week celebrating (even though he didn’t want an actual party or cake or anything…  men. ugh.)…  It has been a week of movie popcorn and sushi and ice cream with one of the nieces (not the best combo, by the way) and eating out and….  fun.  it has been a whole lot of fun.  Amazingly, I am not feeling guilty about it.

My downfall is usually the snowball effect of guilt.  Oh, I messed up this one meal, so I’ll give up on the day (week, month, etc.).  Oh, I missed the gym this week, I should just stop going altogether.  It is so easy to fall into that cycle, that I’ve made myself into this weird yoyo healthy person – I’m either really, really healthy or I’m really, really not.

One of my goals this year has been to stop that drama.  There has to be a difference between setting and achieving goals and making unattainable plans for myself so that I am basically setting myself up to fail.  So, I didn’t make it to the gym to run this week – I did a whole lot of walking though and I still went to bootcamp last night (on his actual birthday – with his blessing, of course) and worked my booty off.  I even got a “good job” on my squats, which totally made my month.  And I may have been eating like a madwoman, but I’ve only been having half portions of all the wonderful crap everywhere, got back on my healthy breakfast track (yay, yogurt!) and have some healthy eating meals already to go next week.

I have been seeing a lot of changes in my body lately (which is what is to be expected when you lose 35 pounds and start exercising for the first time in your life), which shows progress in and of itself as I am no longer avoiding mirrors like the plague.  Oh, there are my cheek bonesOh, there are my hips again.  But, I’ve wondered if I am actually changing my habits or playing at a part (oh, here is what I would be if I was healthy – it is hard being a lapsed theater major, haha).  I think weeks like this prove that I am evolving.  I’m not beating myself up or using everything as an excuse; I’m living in (and very much enjoying) the moment while still trying to be closer to healthy and fit than I ever have.

I’m not a summer person (bring on the fall, please!?!), but I am really enjoying this one.  It is amazing what a shift in mindset can do…

July 22, 2011 Posted by | birthdays, boot camp, guilt, Who am I? | Leave a comment

Back to bootcamp…

I’ve never been one to exercise regularly.  I’m very good for a week, or two, but get me past a month and I’d be dumbstruck.

What’s worse is I know I am like this.  I start working out knowing that I’m going to give it up in a few weeks.  I am so good at intentions…

That all stopped when I signed up for this 2X per week MMA Bootcamp in May.  First, you had to sign a 6 month contract (DAMN – 6 months is a LONG TIME).  Second, it is pretty $$$.  Third, my idea of exercise was walking slowly on the treadmill (and hoping my boyfriend would want to leave the gym early so I could stop).  Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) thought I would give up after the first week.

And it was hard.  Like I’ve said, I am the wimpiest in the class and I struggle with the yellow medicine ball and planks like they were geometry (geometry is not my friend; neither are planks).  I sweat (not glisten – I sweat) and swear and push and wipe out doing kicks (I need to work on my balance).

But, I love it.  I like having that hour to just physically work as hard as I can and see myself getting better at things.  I sing the alphabet in my head during wall sits.  I started running at the gym to help build up my endurance so I can do better at bootcamp.  It makes me want to eat better (want being the operative word, there).

Having two weeks off, I knew last night was going to hurt.  My knees are killing me from the wall sits.  I’ve lost a few seconds off of my planks.  But being there showed me how much I missed it.  It sucked – I do not like having my kicking leg held at a 90 degree angle while I pivot with my other foot – it is not a good time for me – but it was wonderful, all at once.

I truly think for me, I need to be pushed to see how far I can go.  I am not good at pushing myself (yet) but I am getting closer to being this fit (not even fit-ish) version of me I dream about.

We’ll see how tomorrow morning goes.  Bootcamp outside is MUCH harder than bootcamp inside.  I’d better get some sunscreen!

July 15, 2011 Posted by | boot camp, Running, Who am I? | Leave a comment