Cubicle to Fit-ish

How a wimp becomes fit(ish)

Fire Up Into Fall #5: Monday, Monday…

What have you done this week to achieve your goals?

  •  Get my eating under control: I concentrated on portion size and was able to identify some triggers (large cereal bowls, too much bread in the house, not enough REAL food in the house, etc.).
  • Find 2 days for cardio every week: Still haven’t found them, but I want to start C25K again and found a treadmill plan that should work for me.  I hope to go try it out Wednesday and Sunday this week.
  • Eat dinner at the table 2 times a week: Oh, the table.  Still half a mess.
  • Do not sit in front of the tv on Mondays and Wednesdays until 7PM: I’ve been totally blowing by this.  I was so busy last week, I don’t even know if I watched tv until late…
  • Get on a better sleep schedule: I am much more cognizant of when I am going to bed – however, I still choose to watch CSI with Ted Danson on Wednesdays, because how could I miss that!?!?  Haha!
  • Track my progress: Another sporadic one.  I tracked my food for a few days last week, which was super helpful but still made me feel like every choice had the weight of the world on it.  Is it bad that I just want my food choices to be easier?

 What have you done to make yourself feel fabulous?

I am totally wearing a skirt today that I haven’t worn for 3 years.  I try it on every few months, but I can’t believe that I am actually wearing it.

Its half way through the challenge, you can change 1 or more of your goals (max of 3) if you want to….what are you going to do and why?


  • Get my eating under control: KEEP
  • Find 2 days for cardio every week: KEEP
  • Eat dinner at the table 2 times a week: As I can’t even eat dinner some nights, I think I am going to roll this into the first one.
  • Do not sit in front of the tv on Mondays and Wednesdays until 7PM: Too stressful and connected to timeframes – I think this one will be Find two ways to relax that do not involve watching television each week.
  • Get on a better sleep schedule: KEEP
  • Track my progress: I think this blog does a good job of tracking what I need to, so I am just dropping this one.

What’s your worst bad habit and have you ever tried to tackle it? Do you want to?

I am an avoider.  I hide from conflicts, confrontation, phone calls, things that make me uncomfortable, etc.  There have been times in my life where I’ve forced myself to do certain things, but I’ve AVOIDED dealing with it…  I know there is part of me that would love not to live like this, but I don’t even know where to start.  I think working on confidence and small victories has been helping.  Maybe one of my goals should be dealing with things as they happen?  It is the anticipation that kills me, most times.

Fun Time: Would you rather have Burgers for feet or Sausages for fingers? 

Burgers for feet.  I talk with my hands and that could get dangerous!



October 17, 2011 Posted by | a case of the Mondays, Fire Up for Fall (FUFF), guilt, Remy, Running, smile more goals | , , , | 6 Comments

Lessons learned this week…

  1. There is a lot of prep work involved with clean eating.  Yikes.  Last night I gave up and we had tater tots for dinner.  Delicious, but not the point.  I guess maybe I need to prep everything on Sundays and just heat things up? 
  2. I actually miss the gym when I can’t run because of my stupid cut toe.  Actually, that leads me to #3. 
  3. Snakes are dangerous, even if they only attack your imagination. 
  4. Getting super stressed about promotion testing at boot camp makes me eat potato chips and a kit kat for lunch.  My stomach hates me right now.  Or, maybe my mind and willpower do.  I remember when I could live on chips and candy without a second thought….  Oh, youth is wasted on the young. 
  5. I haven’t been going to bed early enough.  I started having dreams of my alarm clock chasing me. 
  6. Even if the recipe doesn’t say to, always put some baking spray down when making pumpkin hermits…  Just look at them – they were hanging on for dear life!


August 25, 2011 Posted by | boot camp, eating clean, Running, smile more goals, Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Need to Focus on my 80%

I keep gaining weight.  I know it’s just five pounds and, in the long run, it won’t matter, but I am super-frustrated.  Not at the five pounds.  At myself.

For the longest time, I kept telling myself it was muscle.  Like, “I’m not at a plateau, I’m just gaining SO MUCH muscle from boot camp that it is negating my weight loss because I’m so out of shape.”  Or, “I gained weight this week, but it’s muscle.  I can tell.”

I can’t tell.  And I don’t think it is muscle, anymore.  It’s my eating habits.

I’ve been working out consistently for the first time in my life.  I go to boot camp twice a week.  I run at the gym on Tuesdays.  I wear my pedometer and try and be as active as I can (even walking around my work in this freaking humidity so that my hair looks like the love child between a perm and an unkempt potted plant).  I actually like exercising.  I look forward to boot camp.  I get excited when I can finally do a curl and press with the 12lb weights and get them both pressed at the same time (up until Saturday, I had to lift one at a time because I thought I’d crack my head open – HUGE win!).  When I run at the gym, I am super-hyped because I am RUNNING!  Not walking.  It is awesome and I love it.

But I keep gaining weight.

It was both vanity and my desire to be fit(ish) that pushed me to start eating better and begin working out (6 months of being weak and sick with vacation pics where I was 40lbs heavier are great motivators, haha).  I joined WW Online.  I started (and stopped and started and stopped) walking on a treadmill at the gym.  I made an effort.  Then, my workouts got kicked up a notch when I joined boot camp and I’ve been really consistent ever since with the working out.  But, WW gets old for me and I start lying on my tracker (or not tracking at all).  Then, I stop bringing my lunch and go back to having cheezits and fig newtons or potato chips and oreos.  Then, I make cereal a dessert and it is no wonder I am gaining weight.

I keep reading that losing weight is 20% what you put in at the gym and 80% what you put into yourself (which fuels what your body does before, during, and after the gym).  I need to start focusing on what I am eating so I don’t slide back to where I was.  But, I love food.  I watch food tv every afternoon.  I am trying to learn how to cook (trying and learn being the operative words – who knew you could roast a chicken upside down?!).  I don’t want to become super manic about what, when, and how I eat, but I need to find a way to eat better food.  Real food.  That doesn’t come out of box.

I’m easing into this.  Extremes are not my friend.  This week, I am focusing on bringing my lunch every day (yay chicken and veggies) and not having cereal for dinner.  Next, I am going to read up on whole food based eating plans.  I don’t want to give up yummy food (or bread.  Or dessert.  Or cookies.), I just want to eat BETTER yummy food.

We’ll see.  At least I know I’m the problem.  Now I need to be the solution.

August 8, 2011 Posted by | a case of the Mondays, back story, boot camp, guilt, my hair, Running, Who am I? | , , | 2 Comments

Getting Away from All or Nothing

For the past couple of months, I’ve been wearing a pedometer for work (I work in health insurance, so they have a huge wellness program where you can participate in different programs and earn a day off for the following year; this initiative gives you a certain number of points for however many steps you take with a points goal for the entire 6 months it runs).  Now, I may not be the most active person, but I’ve always felt that I did a good job moving around during the day.  I try to get up from my cubicle every hour, even if it is just to walk and get some water, and 9 times out of 10, I take the stairs instead of the elevator – unless I am REALLY late for a meeting!  I even do the 15 minute walking path around the building 1 or 2 times a day (unless it is wicked humid, raining, or a super awful day).

However, turns out I am super wrong (this is probably why people keep food and activity journals).  Our goal is to take 7,000 steps a day.  On Tuesdays when I run at the gym, I hit 12,000.  I don’t wear the pedometer at bootcamp (the first pedometer is free, but you have to pay to replace it and I don’t want to break it), but on Thursdays, I usually hit between 5,000-7,500 even without wearing for my class.  Fridays, when I go out shopping with a friend, I usually hit between 5,000-7,500, too.  On these days, my mind is usually on my health (I eat super well and try and be more active on days I work out, and I am always concerned with going too nuts at Friday night dinner with my friend, so I try to be more active to balance off the deliciousness).

It’s the other days – Mondays, Wednesdays, and Sundays, that I barely break 3,000.  It is so bad.  And, on Mondays and Wednesdays, I take most of my steps at work – even with walking around the building (1,500 steps) – and barely 500-1,000 once I get home from work.  AND I have a puppy… who loves to RUN OUTSIDE (preferably after a rabbit).  Yesterday, Sunday, I didn’t even make it to 2,000.

I have written before about being a person of extremes, but it hits so much harder when you are looking at a chart of you activity and it is mountains when you want it to be a straight line (or, an upwards trend, at least).  I read all the time about how yoyo dieting is so dangerous and how consistent exercise and activity is practically the best investment you can make for yourself.  Consistency has always been my downfall (well, one of my downfalls, haha), but I’ve never really seen how inconsistent I am.

I think I am going to make a goal to do something active every day this week (be it walk around the building twice or take Remy – the puppy referenced earlier – to the park to run around, or just jump rope in my backyard) that I don’t have a scheduled workout.  I don’t want to be all or nothing – I want to find a happy medium.  I love lazy days where I watch too much Doctor Who or Community, or go to multiple movies, or read read read.  But, I like the me that wants to be moving and active and strong just as much.  There has to be a balance between Lazy Lindsay and Active Lindsay – I just haven’t found it yet.  I don’t want to burn out, but I do want to keep progressing.  I never knew how much I could push myself before I started all of this.  I just have to trust my body and mind to tell me when I am pushing too hard and know when to rest and be lazy because I need it (not just because it is easier).

Hopefully, I can pick this up next Monday and have made 7,000 steps (at least!) every day this week.  That would be a wonderful way to end the month…  I am not a summer person (bring on the fall), but this one has been quite enlightening.  I am so ready for the heat way to be done, though, and so is my hair!

July 25, 2011 Posted by | my hair, pedometer, Running, Who am I? | Leave a comment

Back to bootcamp…

I’ve never been one to exercise regularly.  I’m very good for a week, or two, but get me past a month and I’d be dumbstruck.

What’s worse is I know I am like this.  I start working out knowing that I’m going to give it up in a few weeks.  I am so good at intentions…

That all stopped when I signed up for this 2X per week MMA Bootcamp in May.  First, you had to sign a 6 month contract (DAMN – 6 months is a LONG TIME).  Second, it is pretty $$$.  Third, my idea of exercise was walking slowly on the treadmill (and hoping my boyfriend would want to leave the gym early so I could stop).  Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) thought I would give up after the first week.

And it was hard.  Like I’ve said, I am the wimpiest in the class and I struggle with the yellow medicine ball and planks like they were geometry (geometry is not my friend; neither are planks).  I sweat (not glisten – I sweat) and swear and push and wipe out doing kicks (I need to work on my balance).

But, I love it.  I like having that hour to just physically work as hard as I can and see myself getting better at things.  I sing the alphabet in my head during wall sits.  I started running at the gym to help build up my endurance so I can do better at bootcamp.  It makes me want to eat better (want being the operative word, there).

Having two weeks off, I knew last night was going to hurt.  My knees are killing me from the wall sits.  I’ve lost a few seconds off of my planks.  But being there showed me how much I missed it.  It sucked – I do not like having my kicking leg held at a 90 degree angle while I pivot with my other foot – it is not a good time for me – but it was wonderful, all at once.

I truly think for me, I need to be pushed to see how far I can go.  I am not good at pushing myself (yet) but I am getting closer to being this fit (not even fit-ish) version of me I dream about.

We’ll see how tomorrow morning goes.  Bootcamp outside is MUCH harder than bootcamp inside.  I’d better get some sunscreen!

July 15, 2011 Posted by | boot camp, Running, Who am I? | Leave a comment

Big Hair and Fast Feet

I totally ran at 5 mph tonight!  It was awesome! 

Usually I do intervals  at a #1 incline (run for 3 minutes at 4.5 mph, walk for three minutes at 3.5; run/walk for 4 minutes each; then 5; then back to 4 and 3).  With my warmup/cooldown, it winds up being 50 minutes or so.

One of my 33 Things… is to run a 12 minute mile – which winds up being a little faster than treadmill 5 mph for me.  I’ve been slowly working my way back to actually running (rather than walking and giving up) so I don’t burn out or hurt myself, but today I just went for it: a whole 4 minutes at 5 mph!

In my head, the difference between 4 and 5 was HUGE!  In reality, not that different.  My legs felt heavy towards the end, but I could have gone longer.  Maybe I’ll try my whole next session at 5 mph…  Hopefully, this energy will carry over to bootcamp on Thursday – I know I’m gonna be sore!

Progress (and proving myself wrong) is lovely – especially with this humidity.  Could my hair be bigger?  Good grief…

July 12, 2011 Posted by | 33 Things to do While I'm 33, boot camp, my hair, Running | Leave a comment

The Cereal Quitter I Wish I Was

I didn’t work out because

  • It all started when I cut my left pinky finger last Wednesday.  Well, not really…
  • It all started when we went on vacation at the end of March and I fell in love with IHOP Cinna-Stack french toast and just missed it so much that I couldn’t re-focus.  Well, not really…

I’m a serial quitter (as opposed to a cereal quitter, which would not be a bad thing for me, haha!); I am not even a dedicated quitter – I’ll quit the same thing over and over.  I’m also an excuse queen.  There is always a reason WHY.  I think I am sick of my own excuses though.

I cut my finger last week and, of course, it got infected.  I had all the plans in the world to go to bootcamp, so I went to urgent care to get some antibiotics.  The doctor, though, had other ideas and there was a procedure and bandages to be left on for 24 hours.  After judging the pain level I was in (it hurt MORE AFTER the procedure), my guy, my friend, and I all decided that bootcamp might not be the best place for me that night – and I wouldn’t get to go back until mid-July as they are on vacation for the first week.  Even with my self-surgery moment 12 hours into the 24, I was pretty down and sore.

I feel like this is a Choose Your Own Adventure gone wrong.

  • What I should have done is taken Thursday night off and gone to the gym on Saturday and Monday to work out and keep up my fitness during the holiday weekend.
  • What I decided to do was let my pinky be my excuse to quit all my good habits and proceeded to eat my way through the weekend while my pedometer wilted from inactivity.

If I continue on this path, my first bootcamp back is going to hurt like my first time did (oh, the muscle soreness…) and I have worked way too hard to go back to that.  So, I am re-directing my quitting/excuse energy into making a plan for the next two weeks and sticking to it:

  •  Run at the gym for 45 minutes this Wednesday and Saturday, and do the same next Tuesday.
  • Do my medicine ball DVD twice this week (Thursday and Sunday), and once next week (Wednesday).
  • Get my eating back under control (focus on whole foods and planned lunches and dinners) and work on not getting thrown off course

If I can do all of this, I am going to treat myself either to some new workout clothes (that actually fit me – I look like a fool sometimes at bootcamp trying to pull up my pants when doing burpees) or the Polar HRM I’ve been coveting since my birthday last November.

I am not the old me who would just give up.  I know I can do this.  I just need to do it!  Bring it on, July!!!

July 5, 2011 Posted by | boot camp, Running, wimpy-ness | 3 Comments

I Totally Ran!

I’ve read so many articles about how you should identify yourself as an athlete to feel more like one; it motivates you to think “I am a cyclist,” even if you can barely make it down the street with training wheels.  It just never worked for me.  I never stick with things long enough to feel strong enough to be a something.  I was stuck in a simile (I am LIKE a runner, except that I am walking), rather than being a metaphor…

When I was training for the 5K last summer and fall, I never even felt like a runner.  It was so disappointing to keep trying to actually run (or jog), and just fail at it time after time.  Maybe I needed to be more dedicated to my C25K plan, but I could never run for more than 45 seconds – and it was more like run for 45 seconds, walk for 10 minutes, run for 30 seconds, walk to my car…

The 5K was in October and was the beginning of me being really sick.  I walked the whole thing and ended up in another bunch of tests, specialists, hives, ensure, etc. that lasted through the winter.  I lost a whole lot of weight, but I lost a lot of my strength (and there wasn’t a lot to begin with!), as well.  Coming out of it, I did join Weight Watchers online and went to the gym sporadically.  All I did there, though, was walk on the treadmill.  I never pushed myself.

Then, six weeks ago, I started bootcamp.  After our first promotion test last week – we find out if we passed tonight – I could see a little difference from where I started.  I did a lot more sit-ups; I held a plank for almost a minute without my booty in the air.  My attitude was “maybe I get promoted, maybe I don’t.”  I can see myself improving.

But, I guess the universe always surprises us when we least expect it.  I decided to go back to the gym 1 or 2 times a week because a) I’m paying for it and b) I think 2 promotions up we have to start going to bootcamp 3 times a week and I am so not ready for that physically.  I feel like I lose a lot of progress Saturday-Wednesday when I am not exercising.  Last Tuesday, I went to Planet Fitness (and it was empty – YAY good weather) and mosey up to my favorite treadmill (back corner).  For some reason, I decided to try running, just to see how long I could go.  Why not?  I was supposed to be in better shape.  1 minute went by… then 2… then 3… and, well, you get the picture.  I ran for 5 straight minutes.  It was like a miracle.  I alternated running for 5 minutes and walking for 2 or 3 minutes for 45 minutes and it was such a huge moment for me.  I totally was a runner.  I wished I had more celebratory music on my IPOD for the occasion…  Adele and Bo Burnham were not cutting it

Hopefully the good vibes will carry over to class tonight.  No matter what happens, I am fitter (or –isher) than I was, and that is what is important.  I don’t care about promotions or placing in races or any of that – I just want to be stronger and healthier.  YAY JUNE!

June 23, 2011 Posted by | back story, boot camp, Running | 2 Comments