Cubicle to Fit-ish

How a wimp becomes fit(ish)

Falling Can Be Better Than Flying

I made a rookie mistake this weekend and have been paying for it ever since; but, it has motivated me to refocus, which can’t be a bad thing…

It’s been hot.  I am a baby about the heat (hence, I’ve spent most of my summers in bookstores and movie theaters), but it really has been insanely warm.  90 degrees with one million % humidity – I can’t even get my hair straight before I leave the house!  Despite this, I’ve been super proud that I’ve been walking at work on my breaks, running at the gym on Tuesdays, and consistently  attending boot camp – even when he threatens to have us outside.

Saturday was no exception.  But, I had a friend sunscreen me up and we started working out inside.  Mind you, I have to eat breakfast before class (I’m not one of those people who can work out on an empty stomach).  Before I left, I had 8oz of Gatorade (I may love my Diet Coke, but even I can’t handle carbonation before jumping jacks and all that), a bowl of cheerios, and a yogurt.  I have a 40 minute drive to boot camp, so my food always settles before I get there.

During boot camp, I generally down 16 oz of water between water breaks between circuits and my ride home.  It was a super hard class (and I got frustrated as my knee started to click and hurt during lunges, alligator crawls, and some godawful medicine ball stand up/sit down thing) and I worked wicked hard.  I’m not one who sweats a lot (maybe it was that I wasn’t working hard enough, maybe I’m chronically under hydrated, maybe I just glisten, haha), but I was DRENCHED – like soaked sports bra, hot sweaty nastiness, straight to the shower when I got home DRENCHED.  But I had my whole water bottle and then went out to lunch and had a Diet Coke (16oz).  I thought I was fine

Our instructor even reminded us to rehydrate before we left.  I thought I had done enough.  Obviously not, though.  We got home from lunch (and picking up the puppy from the groomer – so adorable!!) and I was exhausted.  We all decided to take a nap for an hour.  Three hours later, I could barely function.  I was dizzy and nauseous and what I thought was hangry (hungry + angry because I’m hungry).  I had a bowl of cereal and a glass of water.  I felt worse.  Another glass of water and I made it to feeling meh.  We watched the game and I stumbled into bed.

Then, my whole system freaked out.  I could feel my stomach grinding and jumping all around.  My head was spinning and I started dry heaving every hour or so, which caused said puppy to chase me from the bedroom to the bathroom every hour on the hour (and jump on said boyfriend’s head on reentry to the bedroom).  It was not fun. 

Having been through some medical drama last year, I knew what this was – welcome back to dehydration.  I spent Sunday attached to some Gatorade and taking it easy, but still felt pretty crappy.  I am proud that I made it to the supermarket and we prepped all of our dinners for this week, though.

I should have been pushing liquids on Saturday.  I know this.  I know a lot of things.  I know I should eat more (any) fruits and vegetables.  I know I should stop treating Diet Coke like it is water and just drink some water.  I know I should start having more respect for myself and treating myself better because I am hurting my body over and over again with this nonsense.

So I made my step and gym goals for last week, but at what cost, really?  I’ve decided to refocus my fit(ish) activities on health for the month of August as I feel I am getting too caught up in the numbers (hey, I went to the gym twice, I can have 5 rolls for dinner) and not really being healthier.  My checks are becoming excuses, in some ways.


  • Drink 60 oz of water a day
  • Get some sleep!
  • Bring my lunch to work MF
  • Have a fruit and a vegetable each day
  • Gym on Tuesday, boot camp on Thursday and Friday

Slow and steady and all that.  I need to remember that I learn more from falling than from flying…


August 1, 2011 Posted by | boot camp, Diet Coke, ick, sweating | Leave a comment

Making Out with Garlic Bread

So I have completely lost my good eating habits.  I did really well with WW online until March and I have been on a slow-mo fall into a pit of cheezits, diet coke, fig newtons, french fries, and all the yumminess I have been trying to not gorge on ever since.  It has been delicious, but I can see this landing me right back where I was LAST summer, and my whole healthy makeover was to become a fitter and happier me (not a yo-yo dieter making out with a loaf of bread).

I think this descent ties directly into the fact that I have not been going to the gym since I started the MMA Bootcamp.  At first, I thought bootcamp was going to be too much for me, so I rationalized stopping doing the gym so my body could adapt to the intense workouts.  However, I’ve noticed that when I am in pain from a really hard bootcamp session (like Saturday’s – um, ouch crazy medicine ball/burpee, squat push, bicycle crunch, jumping jack hot hell), exercising actually makes my muscles feel better.  I need to look more into cross-training, but I think since my classes on Thursday nights and Saturday mornings are so focused on strength training, I am going to do 2 days a week of cardio (treadmill, elliptical, or bike) to help with my endurance and keep my muscles warm.  I am hoping for Tuesdays and Sundays, which should be a good fit with my schedule right now.  Apparently bootcamp goes to 3 days a week after some promotion (YIKES), so I will have to re-evaluate my energy levels at that point.

I’m also making a meal plan for the week to try and pull myself together.  Being such a foodie, I rebel against planning out my meals, but I think getting into a better routine will allow me to make better choices.  I just need a moment away from everything to level set my appetite.  French fries and garlic bread are not a meal that will fuel me.  Soda makes me feel kind of sick.  Apple pie is not an every day lunch (well, it is for me.  That’s my problem, haha!).

I am sure my stress levels from my mom being hurt and my week long development program at work aren’t helping.  Getting back into my general swing of things (including some much needed sleep) should help me perk up, too…

June 20, 2011 Posted by | boot camp, Diet Coke, wimpy-ness | Leave a comment

Hot Mess on a Sunday

I was a hot, hot mess this weekend.  And not in the fun “I ate and drank my way through a celebratory yada, yada, yada…”

On Friday, my mom fell and broke her femur.  She had a torn quad that was messing with her balance and has Rheumatoid Arthritis, which makes your bones weak and tripped over potted plants that she bought at a church plant sale.  It scared the holy crap out of me (and not just because it happened in front of a church).  I’ve always looked at this health journey that I am on as something I SHOULD do, but if I don’t get around to it… meh.  What is really going to happen?  And, you would think having something happen to a parent would really hit home with me and make me WANT to be much healthier.  

You would think that.  But, I gained most of my weight when my mom was hospitalized with pneumonia for the better part of 3 months in 2009.  I eat my feelings, as well as feelings I think other people should be having.  I’ve worked really hard to stop that, and I am doing so much better (30lbs down!), but the minute my mom fell, it was like “Thank God I have an excuse to have McDonald’s and bread and cookies…”  That is how my brain works. I am the queen of excuses.

BUT, instead of letting myself slide into that pit of deliciousness, I kept it in scope.  I made chocolate chip cookies, but only had 3 and got rid of the rest of them.  I still went to Bootcamp and learned how to throw elbows and a basic knee.  I made sure I got the sleep I need.  And, yes, I backslid on the Diet Coke thing, but I am officially trying to get off of it again (my stomach was SO not happy this weekend) and back on my vitamins and supplements and all that fun stuff.

 And Bootcamp went super well this weekend.  It was a Thai class on Saturday, so we worked on knees and elbows.  For some reason, I really got the elbows.  Still having trouble pivoting with the kicks.  Apparently, our first test is going to be next week.  I need to work on my planks (now that I don’t look like a drawbridge with my booty in the air during them) and my endurance. 

 Like I told my mom, we can’t change the past.  All we can do is change our actions and reactions.  So my initial reaction to her being in the hospital may have been to stuff my face; my subsequent reactions are on a better track to pull myself together and make myself stronger so I may not have to go through what she is going through in 30 years or so.


  • Monday: 60 second plank and plan meals
  • Tuesday: DVD with medicine ball (remember, a pillow is not a good medicine ball replacement…)
  • Wednesday: Jump rope and 60 second plank
  • Thursday: Bootcamp
  • Friday: Jumping jacks and 60 second plank
  • Saturday: Bootcamp
  • Sunday: Rest and plan meals

Diet Cokes This Weekend: You don’t want to know

Diet Cokes Today: 1 – and that’s all I’m having!

June 5, 2011 Posted by | back story, boot camp, Diet Coke | Leave a comment

The Class Wimp

I am getting so frustrated in class.  It seems like every time that we do a circuit, I can’t lift the 12lb weights like everyone else, or the stupid 20lb medicine ball is too heavy for me.  I understand that this is a process and that I am progressing at my own pace and all sorts of touchy feely mumbo jumbo about how this is my journey, but it is so annoying that I can’t do what everyone else can do.

I’m at that point where I either push through this and get through the 6 months, or I just give up and watch tv all summer.  I want to be that girl with will power and commitment, but I have eight billion excuses for everything.  But, as my mom said, I am going to class regularly and I am putting the work in.  Our first test is next week, I think, and maybe I’ll see some improvement and get in a better mood.

Diet Cokes Today: 4 and it’s only 3:30.  Ugh.

June 3, 2011 Posted by | boot camp, Diet Coke, wimpy-ness | Leave a comment

I’m Addicted to Buying Work Out Gear

I totally bought a medicine ball today.  Last week it was a jump rope.  Hopefully, I will actually USE them, unlike the other piles of equipment/cute workout clothes I’ve spent money on.  I’m thinking of getting one of those big balance balls to do crunches on, as the ones that I do in bed during commercials seem like they don’t count as much.

I’ve read about identifying yourself as an athlete will make you feel more like an athlete and make you more likely to stick with whatever your program is.  I tried this when training for the 5K last year, but I got so sick that all I could identify with is throwing up, swelling, and hives.  I am trying to think of myself even just as someone who exercises regularly with the hope that I will feel more confident in class.

I am thinking about going back to the gym on Tuesdays to run on the treadmill.  I’ve been doing really well on the sprinting, suicides, and warm up “run around the building” jogs, and I think adding a day of just cardio would help my endurance.  We’ll see how next week goes.

I’m going to start keeping a Diet Coke count to judge my stress level.  I had given it up completely for a couple of weeks.  The cravings got so bad that I switched to one a day.  I just fear sliding back into the 10 a day/stomach hates me drama.

Diet Cokes Today: 1 – and it was delicious!

May 30, 2011 Posted by | Diet Coke, Who am I? | Leave a comment