Cubicle to Fit-ish

How a wimp becomes fit(ish)

Where I actually get better at things…

So, I didn’t want to go to boot camp last night.  I wanted to go to bed and read a silly magazine.  This is what happens every time I say or think that exercise will be my stress relief – I automatically become exhausted and don’t want to exercise anymore.

But, my guy told me to go (as he does every week) and I figured we’d be doing the punches and stuff, not the crazy circuits.  My guy and I call boot camp “kick kick, punch punch.”  And, it isn’t that the Muy Thai days are not a good workout, they are just not as exhausting as some of the circuits we do.  Thank god the teacher can’t see this because I would get my butt kicked doing eight billion punches and kicks to prove me wrong!

I was so wrong about last night, though.  We did the usual random circuits (20 push ups, 30 crunches, 40 squats X 3), but then we did a burpee contest.  Now, these are burpees without the push up, but they are not easy and we already do a ton of them in the warm up.  But, apparently, we had to do MORE.  The contest was:

 

Minute 1 = 1 burpee and then rest

Minute 2 = 2 burpees and then rest

Minute 3 = 3 burpees and then rest

And so on…

Your rest time keeps getting shorter and shorter and the burpees keep getting harder and harder.

I actually made it through 12 rounds (and 5 into the 13th) – I was shocked!  That is 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + 6 + 7 + 8 + 9 + 10 + 11 + 12 + 5….

 

83 burpees!

 

That is INSANE!  I couldn’t even jump both feet back at the same time when I started.  And that is not counting the ones we did in the warm up.

On days when I don’t see progress, I’m going to remember this:

6 months ago, I could barely work out 2 times in a week.

Actually, I could barely work out at all!  All I did was walk on the treadmill.

 

Now, I work out at least 3 times a week and I can do 83 burpees in 13 minutes – progress does happen!

(no matter how slow it feels, sometimes)

October 12, 2011 Posted by | boot camp, kick kick punch punch, Who am I?, wimpy-ness | , , , | 2 Comments

Fire Up into Fall #4: Where did Monday Go?

What have you done this week to achieve your goals?

Small victories…  I made it to boot camp when I didn’t want to go.  I ate vegetables most nights.  I brought my breakfast to work every day and had mostly healthy lunches.  I caught up on sleep during this LONG weekend, so hopefully I will continue on with these small wins this week! 

I am starting to track my food again (my portion control has gone out the window – cereal bowls are SO BIG these days – and I am starting to consider bread a meal again) which is helping, as is being more forgiving of myself.  Goals are great, but so is being able to adapt to and accept what life is doling out on any given day…

What have you done this week to make yourself feel fabulous?

I slept.  That sounds so small, but I had a long weekend and I made sure that I just crashed at least two of the nights.  I am a better person if I get enough sleep.  There were a few moments last week when my guy was looking at me like I was a harpy and I knew if I could just rest a little, I would feel more like myself (even though, I am so over tired that sometimes I feel like the tired, hangry me is the real me – haha!).

What’s your go to food or activity when you’ve had a bad day?

What IS my go to food/activity or what do I WISH they were?  Haha!  Bread/tv/magazines are where I land when I need comfort, but I am making a concerted effort to change that.  I am trying to look at boot camp and the gym as my comfort or stress relief, rather than trying to make myself feel better by eating or buying something.  Or, I am trying to reward myself with experiences.  I love going to the movies, so if I can be get through this week without crashing full force into a loaf of blueberry strudel bread, I am going to go to the movies on Friday!

What’s the last thing you did you are really proud of?

Next week will be 6 months that I’ve been in boot camp.  As someone who never really exercised regularly (I’m good for a week or two and then I’m done), this is a huge moment for me.  I can see so much improvement in my strength, endurance, and balance – but, I look forward to exercising now, which is a huge win.  I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who like to work out and are strong and fit and I really feel like I am on my way!

What was your favorite subject in school?  Your least?

English/Literature/Writing were my favorites in high school – they were a chance to be creative and talk about books and film.  In undergrad, it was my theater performance classes.  I was a double major in English and Theater (and I had two jobs), but the time I spent in rehearsal and working on play analysis and character was the most fun I’ve ever had.  Undergrad was like my high school (as my high school was like hell), so those years were when I really feel I found myself and what I believe in.

 Least favorite was penmanship and geometry.  I have the worst handwriting (I warn my classes that they need to stop me and ask for a translation); I love math, but I am not good with shapes and things like that.  Now, give me some algebra and I can do it.

This picture inspires me because I am heading back to Universal Orlando in a couple of weeks!

October 11, 2011 Posted by | boot camp, Fire Up for Fall (FUFF), guilt, Who am I? | , , , , , , | 4 Comments

5 Things I’m Loving Right Now Friday #3

I am so hopped up on Dayquil that this could go wrong very quickly.

This week has not been what I wanted it to be.  I was so excited about getting back into a routine that I chose ANY routine – not my healthy, small and manageable goal routine.  So there was a lot of cereal eaten, not so many vegetables, and sleep was non-existent.

But, I made it to boot camp on Tuesday and Thursday.  Tuesday was a big win.  I spent the day at my day job’s All Company Service day – a great concept, but not as fun when you are picking up trash and weeding sea grass on Carson Beach in a down pour.  At boot camp, Tuesday was a crazy circuit – burpees with rope slams… box step ups with a high knee…  Everyone was shocked I actually went after a long, wet day, but I didn’t want to let myself down.

Last night, we did Thai, but it was all about blocking.  Strangely, I don’t enjoy blocking as much as I do punching, haha!

Here we go…

  1. Fall TV Shows: What better motivation is there to get my butt in gear than the fact that I have new shows to watch at night!?!  I heart my DVR (as we all know), so I have plenty of things to watch Saturday afternoon.  The rumor of a Doctor Who reference on Community has my nerdy heart aflutter…
  2.  My new pillow: A couple of weeks ago, I woke up and could barely turn my neck.  Boot camp was not fun that day – I couldn’t even do a crunch!  It turns out my pillow was so malformed that it was physically hurting me as I slept.  $10 later, I have a lovely hypo-allergenic pillow that I am trying not to misshape when I read in bed (I tend to twist and turn pillows to prop my glasses up on my face while on my side – SO LAZY).
  3. Summer The West Wing recaps on the TV Club: I love The Onion, but I love AV Club more.  Quirky, critical, and honest reviews of TV shows that I actually watch.  They have a lot of great interviews, as well.  The West Wing is in my top 5 favorite shows ever, so I really enjoy reading someone’s views on each season, especially since some time has past since they first aired.  A truly good show only becomes better with age, not dated and irrelevant.
  4. Dayquil: Because it got me through this work day.
  5. Random Thank Yous: Sometimes I forget how much a kind word can change a day around.  I was miserable in boot camp last night (on the edge of a cold, not enjoying being hit in the head, messing up my hair…), when my partner said “thanks for sparring with me.”  Something so little, but something so nice.

September 23, 2011 Posted by | 5 Things I’m Loving Right Now Friday, boot camp, Doctor Who, General Nerdiness, my hair | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fire Up for Fall #1!

I’m a wicked lurker.  I read a ton of blogs every day, but I keep quiet and don’t really say much.  It is like small talk at a party – so overwhelming.  I know I was a theater major and I teach community college classes at night – put me in front of a crowd and I am fine.  Put me in a one on one interaction and I am an anxious mess.

However, when I saw the Fire Up for Fall (FUFF) on Weight Wars, I thought it would be a good way to meet some bloggers and set some realistic, fun and focused goals.  On Mondays, I will be answering the questions they send me and posting a picture that inspires me.  Fall is my favorite time of year, so hopefully FUFF (that sounds a little dirty, doesn’t it?!) will make this one even better!

What are my goals for the Fall Challenge?

  1. Get my eating under control.  Between the hurricane, the bathroom remodel, major work stress, and many, many etc.’s, I’ve lost my healthy habits and gained a few pounds.  I’d like to get back to a place where I am.  Mini goals:
    • Have a protein based breakfast that includes a piece of fruit
    • Have small, protein and carb based snacks
    • Bring my lunch to work (as I tend to black out in the cafeteria and end up with a roll and a bowl of cereal) with a protein, a vegetable, and a one-serving carb (rather than a plate of stuffing – which is delicious, but not nutritious).
    • Plan yummy dinners for me and my guy that include new vegetables that we don’t usually have
  2. Find two days to do my cardio each week.  I am really into going to Boot Camp three days a week and that serves as my strength routines.  Although, we do some cardio there, I want to work on my endurance (especially as one of my 33 things I want to do this year is to run a 12 minute mile and I only have 2 months or so until I turn 34).  This would also have me working out 5 days a week, which is where I want to be.  Cardio doesn’t have to be crazy – it could be a nice walk with Remy and my guy at the state park, a bike ride (I REALLY want a bike), or a nice jog on these awesome fall mornings.
  3. Eat dinner at the table at least 2 times a week.  In the three years that we have owned our house, we’ve eaten dinner at the table twice – both times with guests over.  The table ends up being a catch-all for books, bags, and clutter.  I am trying to get control of my afternoons (see #4), but I also think I would eat more mindfully at the table, and Brian and I might actually talk – rather than zombie out to Family Guy, or whatever.
  4. Do not sit in front of the tv until 7PM on Monday and WednesdaysDon’t even turn it on.  I am a lazy, lazy girl.  I am also a girl severely affected by momentum.  If I leave work and go DO SOMETHING(be it make dinner, clean the bathroom, work in my garden, go for a walk), I’m good to go for an active afternoon.  If I leave work, get home, and sit on the couch because Food Network or Cooking Channel is on, I’m there until I go to bed.  I need to fight inertia – once I’ve sit, I’m sat.  Tuesday and Thursdays, I have boot camp and this doesn’t happen because I am out the door after I’ve run home to change and snack.  Fridays is a dinner/shopping date with my best friend.  There is so much I could get done on Monday and Wednesdays if I just didn’t get sucked in.  Mini goals:
    • Dust my bedroom and living room once a week
    • Clean my bathroom once a week
    • Clean my kitchen each night
    • Clean my kitchen floor once a week
    • Take Remy somewhere fun once a week

    These make me look like a slob (it’s not that I don’t clean, I just tend to get so overwhelmed by it that I start major cleaning initiatives at 11PM on a Sunday, which exhausts me).

  5. Get on a better sleep schedule.  I’ve been a mess the past few weeks between the hotels and stress.  I also try and stay up with my guy every night, which only leads to bickering and exhaustion.  With working out more, I need to be more concerned with getting at least 7 hours of sleep a night and less concerned with my shows (that is what the dvr is for).  So, I hope to be in bed around 10:30 Sunday-Thursday and up by 8:30/9 on the weekends.
  6. Track my progress.  I am in a constant battle with numbers.  I tend to make super-rigid goals that I have no chance at keeping and then feel like a failure when I don’t live up to my extreme expectations that I just wallow in my bad habits.  On the other hand, I love crossing items off lists and feeling like I accomplished something.  I read The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin, and it really spoke to me about how I look to others to validate my successes.  I can give myself a gold star – I don’t need to puppy dog eye my guy into doing it. Hopefully the goals I’ve made here aren’t so out of reach that I can’t see the good in trying.  So there may be a check list/spreadsheet in my future.

Why have I chosen these goals?

I tried to explain above, but, in general, I have such an opportunity right now during my semester away from teaching to start some awesome and healthy new habits.  I don’t want to look back at the past 6 months and be the same – I want to evolve into a happier and healthier person.  I did purposefully stay away from lbs lost goals as they tend to make me give up the moment the scale goes up.  I want to focus more on feeling better than actual weight lost.

What have I done this week that’s made me feel fabulous?

The past week?!  Oh, gosh.  I went to boot camp three times in one week for the first time last week.  Thursday night, the instructor was my partner for the Muy Thai combinations and I pulled myself together after a horrid day at work to not accidentally punch him in the face or burst into tears (both a real danger that night).  On Saturday, there were only two of us there (TOO MUCH INDIVIDUAL ATTENTION – SOS – MAYDAY), but I was able to stick with the circuits we were doing and work at my own pace.  AND I did one handed rows while balancing on one foot.  YAY BOOT CAMP!

What do I think will be my biggest challenge in reaching my goals?

My biggest problem is always consistency.  I am really good the first day, and then life happens and I just give up.  I really want to commit and see some improvement.

Fun Question: Where in the world do I live?  What’s amazing about it?

I live in Rockland, Massachusetts on the east coast of the US.  I have never described it as “amazing” before, but I guess it is pretty nice to be so close to active and fun cities (Boston and Providence), but still have a somewhat neighborhood-ish feel to where our house is.  I like that I am not too far from a supermarket or movie theater, but not so close that I don’t see trees or stars.

Inspiring Picture:

I am trying to take better pictures.  I really like the light in it.  It is a tree near an old Fort on Nantasket Beach and is appropriately fall-ish!

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September 19, 2011 Posted by | 33 Things to do While I'm 33, boot camp, Fire Up for Fall (FUFF), guilt, photography, Who am I? | , , | 10 Comments

5 Things I’m Loving Right Now Friday #2

Another attempt to see the good, rather than focus on what is wrong and SMILE MORE.  And, what better day than Friday to think about things that make you happy?

  1. Doctor Who comes back tomorrow night.  I am way too excited.  If there was a number before 1, I would make it that.
    • As I’ve said, I love my shows.  My relationship with them is more romantic than my actual relationship (that isn’t a burn; I’m totally happy with my guy); I see the show…  I try to pretend I’m not that into it – but, I start stalking blogs, reviews, fan sites… then, I just dive whole-heart into it and devote countless hours into watching, re-watching, reviewing, and obsessing.  It is who I am.
    • Doctor Who is the epitome of this for me.  The history, the humor, the accents…  I could go on and on comparing Doctors and plot lines, but I’ll keep it to a. Love the Weeping Angels; b. Like the dark, fairy tale-ish, stories about stories and legends focus the Moffat years have done so far; c. did not LOVE the past Christmas special; d. I don’t think you can compare Tennant and Smith as the show seems so completely set in a different world; e. I kind of miss when the Daleks and Cyber Men were not around all the freaking time – they used to be special and now, when they show up, it is like “whatever….;” f. I don’t pretend to know everything about the old school Doctors – but think understanding the show’s history gives all of it more meaning.
    • I got a TARDIS cookie jar for Christmas last year.
    • I hold people hostage and try to get them as obsessed as I am.  I mean Let’s Kill Hitler?! How could you NOT want to watch that?
    • WAY TOO EXCITED 
  2. Progress!  Even though my boot camp test didn’t go quite as planned (more on that next week), I’ve noticed that certain exercises are getting easier for me.  Burpees (my idea of hell as it involves jump squatting AND a plank) are actually being done in succession, rather than jumping at the end of one and gasping for air for a bit.  I can also jump back into plank and forward into the crouched squat with both feet – before, all I could do was step back and forth with one foot at a time, which looses a lot of the benefits…  I can also get through the warm up much better – one minute of jumping jacks isn’t as bad as I though it was…
  3. Trader Joe’s Seedless Grape Medley: I know… I know… the link is to the duet – but, I got the medley with the green, red and dark purple grapes and it was like heaven.  I am not a big fruit or veggie person, but I ate these all week for dessert and they were delicious!  Baby steps…
  4. DVR’s:
    • I have always needed a lot of alone time.  I am not a naturally social person.  I like going to the movies by myself.  I like reading.  I like watching my shows without interruption.  I am lucky to have found friends and a guy who are cool with this.  And it isn’t that I need to be alone ALL OF THE TIME – I just need to have independent time to just have my thoughts.
    • This is something that becomes heightened during stressful or bad times.  When I was depressed in my 20’s, I used to plan out my life by what was on tv.  I couldn’t miss The West Wing, so Wednesdays were not a night I would plan anything on.  And there was SOMETHING on every night.  Even if it was fun and awesome and I mean, honestly, Lindsay, they have repeats for a reason!!!  But, I stayed in.  All the time.  It wasn’t healthy.
    • I am much better now (growing up and having an actual life helps a lot), but I still get sad if I miss my shows.  The DVR has changed my life.  I can watch, and re-watch, my shows WHENEVER I WANT!
    • And, this may seem super shallow, but I’m not ashamed.  Everyone has things that they irrationally love.  A sports team.  Church.  Shopping.  Mine just happens to be movies and tv shows.
  5. Jasper Fforde’s Thursday Next series (and how Jasper Fforde spells his name): I’m a reader (big surprise).  I used to have blog where I talked about the books I re-read every year (there are about 100 of them).  The Thursday Next series are included in that.  There are in-jokes for Lit Lovers and fans, but the plots themselves (and, well, there are a lot of them) are just so well done and interesting.  These books don’t get boring and you don’t have to be a die-hard Lit freak to get something out of them.  And, “Fforde” is just a great spelling of such a simple name.  The extra F and E just make me smile.

No boot camp this Saturday, so I am hoping to rest my ankle and toe, get some actual rest (see what I did there?) and survive the hurricane without feeling like I was mainlining cereal the whole time…

Hi, my name is Lindsay and I have a Wheat Chex problem…

August 26, 2011 Posted by | 5 Things I’m Loving Right Now Friday, back story, Books, boot camp, Doctor Who, General Nerdiness, smile more goals, Who am I? | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Lessons learned this week…

  1. There is a lot of prep work involved with clean eating.  Yikes.  Last night I gave up and we had tater tots for dinner.  Delicious, but not the point.  I guess maybe I need to prep everything on Sundays and just heat things up? 
  2. I actually miss the gym when I can’t run because of my stupid cut toe.  Actually, that leads me to #3. 
  3. Snakes are dangerous, even if they only attack your imagination. 
  4. Getting super stressed about promotion testing at boot camp makes me eat potato chips and a kit kat for lunch.  My stomach hates me right now.  Or, maybe my mind and willpower do.  I remember when I could live on chips and candy without a second thought….  Oh, youth is wasted on the young. 
  5. I haven’t been going to bed early enough.  I started having dreams of my alarm clock chasing me. 
  6. Even if the recipe doesn’t say to, always put some baking spray down when making pumpkin hermits…  Just look at them – they were hanging on for dear life!

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August 25, 2011 Posted by | boot camp, eating clean, Running, smile more goals, Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Better Outlook and Less Snakes for One, Please…

Last week was overwhelming.  Hence, radio (blog) silence.

There are major changes going on at my day job.  I still have a job, which is wonderful, but my role and boss and structure will be changing and we are currently in a month of limbo and I just hate it.  Not knowing is not fun.

And, then, my guy went to New Hampshire for the weekend (which is usually no biggie – I am not as hysterical being home alone anymore – bumps in the night are not my friend).  However, as we were saying goodbye with a rousing game of fetch (with the puppy, of course, not just the two of us as that would be super weird), he told me to back away into the house.  I should have listened to him (but don’t tell him I said that), but I stepped forward instead and there it was.  A snake.  A SNAKE!

…ok.  It was a tiny little garden snake.  But, it was a snake all the same.  Creepy, slimy little buggers.  When I went to take the puppy out later that night – in flip flops and my glasses – something wet and slimy touched my foot.  It was probably a lead, but, in my head, it was the SNAKE!  I tried to run, hit the edge of the deck with my poor big toe and sliced it down the side and basically fell into the house.

I have one of those dogs that always looks like he is smiling, but, I swear, this time he was laughing at me.

I didn’t totally give up on the week, though, which is a huge win for me.

  • I still went to boot camp (Thursday night for Muy Thai punches and kicks, Saturday for the circuit – which I probably should have skipped with my toe and all…  I spent the rest of the weekend icing that and my knee.  Turkish Get Ups are not my friend either).
  • I didn’t get fast food or movie popcorn while my guy was gone (I tend to use his absence as an excuse to go back to my secret single behaviors involving McDonalds and buttered popcorn as my only food sources).
  • I dyed my hair reddish and did a lot of thinking.  This is my first semester not teaching (as my second job) and I really want to use my time to be happier and have fun.

And, I still planned out my first week of easing into Eating Clean.  My kickass friend Jill (who is super inspiring!) has had a lot of success with it.  My goal is to work up to “eating clean” for 80% of the time, so I can enjoy my 20% without the guilt I have been feeling lately.  I feel like I am always thinking about food, which is not where I want to live my life.  I want to  stress less, eat better, move around, and SMILE MORE.  Life is not that bad.  I need to cheer up, ASAP!

For example, I get to work at 7:45 and have a bowl of cereal and a Nutri-Grain bar.  By 9AM, I’m hungry, so I have some fig newtons.  By 11AM, I am starving, so I have a roll and another Nutri-Grain bar for “lunch…”  And, on it goes.

I am hoping that my incorporating some of the Eating Clean principles into my diet, it will help me have the energy to do everything that I want to do…  I only have 3 months or so to finish my 33 Things to do While I am 33 list – I need to get moving!

This week’s Smile More Goals:

  • Have a protein, complex carb, and fruit/vegetable at every meal
  • Try three new recipes and write about them
  • Have an awesome anniversary dinner with my guy this weekend
  • Get some sleep
  • Take 4 walks
  • Stop taking everything so seriously

August 22, 2011 Posted by | 33 Things to do While I'm 33, a case of the Mondays, boot camp, eating clean, guilt, Remy, smile more goals, Who am I? | , , | Leave a comment

I Need to Focus on my 80%

I keep gaining weight.  I know it’s just five pounds and, in the long run, it won’t matter, but I am super-frustrated.  Not at the five pounds.  At myself.

For the longest time, I kept telling myself it was muscle.  Like, “I’m not at a plateau, I’m just gaining SO MUCH muscle from boot camp that it is negating my weight loss because I’m so out of shape.”  Or, “I gained weight this week, but it’s muscle.  I can tell.”

I can’t tell.  And I don’t think it is muscle, anymore.  It’s my eating habits.

I’ve been working out consistently for the first time in my life.  I go to boot camp twice a week.  I run at the gym on Tuesdays.  I wear my pedometer and try and be as active as I can (even walking around my work in this freaking humidity so that my hair looks like the love child between a perm and an unkempt potted plant).  I actually like exercising.  I look forward to boot camp.  I get excited when I can finally do a curl and press with the 12lb weights and get them both pressed at the same time (up until Saturday, I had to lift one at a time because I thought I’d crack my head open – HUGE win!).  When I run at the gym, I am super-hyped because I am RUNNING!  Not walking.  It is awesome and I love it.

But I keep gaining weight.

It was both vanity and my desire to be fit(ish) that pushed me to start eating better and begin working out (6 months of being weak and sick with vacation pics where I was 40lbs heavier are great motivators, haha).  I joined WW Online.  I started (and stopped and started and stopped) walking on a treadmill at the gym.  I made an effort.  Then, my workouts got kicked up a notch when I joined boot camp and I’ve been really consistent ever since with the working out.  But, WW gets old for me and I start lying on my tracker (or not tracking at all).  Then, I stop bringing my lunch and go back to having cheezits and fig newtons or potato chips and oreos.  Then, I make cereal a dessert and it is no wonder I am gaining weight.

I keep reading that losing weight is 20% what you put in at the gym and 80% what you put into yourself (which fuels what your body does before, during, and after the gym).  I need to start focusing on what I am eating so I don’t slide back to where I was.  But, I love food.  I watch food tv every afternoon.  I am trying to learn how to cook (trying and learn being the operative words – who knew you could roast a chicken upside down?!).  I don’t want to become super manic about what, when, and how I eat, but I need to find a way to eat better food.  Real food.  That doesn’t come out of box.

I’m easing into this.  Extremes are not my friend.  This week, I am focusing on bringing my lunch every day (yay chicken and veggies) and not having cereal for dinner.  Next, I am going to read up on whole food based eating plans.  I don’t want to give up yummy food (or bread.  Or dessert.  Or cookies.), I just want to eat BETTER yummy food.

We’ll see.  At least I know I’m the problem.  Now I need to be the solution.

August 8, 2011 Posted by | a case of the Mondays, back story, boot camp, guilt, my hair, Running, Who am I? | , , | 2 Comments

Falling Can Be Better Than Flying

I made a rookie mistake this weekend and have been paying for it ever since; but, it has motivated me to refocus, which can’t be a bad thing…

It’s been hot.  I am a baby about the heat (hence, I’ve spent most of my summers in bookstores and movie theaters), but it really has been insanely warm.  90 degrees with one million % humidity – I can’t even get my hair straight before I leave the house!  Despite this, I’ve been super proud that I’ve been walking at work on my breaks, running at the gym on Tuesdays, and consistently  attending boot camp – even when he threatens to have us outside.

Saturday was no exception.  But, I had a friend sunscreen me up and we started working out inside.  Mind you, I have to eat breakfast before class (I’m not one of those people who can work out on an empty stomach).  Before I left, I had 8oz of Gatorade (I may love my Diet Coke, but even I can’t handle carbonation before jumping jacks and all that), a bowl of cheerios, and a yogurt.  I have a 40 minute drive to boot camp, so my food always settles before I get there.

During boot camp, I generally down 16 oz of water between water breaks between circuits and my ride home.  It was a super hard class (and I got frustrated as my knee started to click and hurt during lunges, alligator crawls, and some godawful medicine ball stand up/sit down thing) and I worked wicked hard.  I’m not one who sweats a lot (maybe it was that I wasn’t working hard enough, maybe I’m chronically under hydrated, maybe I just glisten, haha), but I was DRENCHED – like soaked sports bra, hot sweaty nastiness, straight to the shower when I got home DRENCHED.  But I had my whole water bottle and then went out to lunch and had a Diet Coke (16oz).  I thought I was fine

Our instructor even reminded us to rehydrate before we left.  I thought I had done enough.  Obviously not, though.  We got home from lunch (and picking up the puppy from the groomer – so adorable!!) and I was exhausted.  We all decided to take a nap for an hour.  Three hours later, I could barely function.  I was dizzy and nauseous and what I thought was hangry (hungry + angry because I’m hungry).  I had a bowl of cereal and a glass of water.  I felt worse.  Another glass of water and I made it to feeling meh.  We watched the game and I stumbled into bed.

Then, my whole system freaked out.  I could feel my stomach grinding and jumping all around.  My head was spinning and I started dry heaving every hour or so, which caused said puppy to chase me from the bedroom to the bathroom every hour on the hour (and jump on said boyfriend’s head on reentry to the bedroom).  It was not fun. 

Having been through some medical drama last year, I knew what this was – welcome back to dehydration.  I spent Sunday attached to some Gatorade and taking it easy, but still felt pretty crappy.  I am proud that I made it to the supermarket and we prepped all of our dinners for this week, though.

I should have been pushing liquids on Saturday.  I know this.  I know a lot of things.  I know I should eat more (any) fruits and vegetables.  I know I should stop treating Diet Coke like it is water and just drink some water.  I know I should start having more respect for myself and treating myself better because I am hurting my body over and over again with this nonsense.

So I made my step and gym goals for last week, but at what cost, really?  I’ve decided to refocus my fit(ish) activities on health for the month of August as I feel I am getting too caught up in the numbers (hey, I went to the gym twice, I can have 5 rolls for dinner) and not really being healthier.  My checks are becoming excuses, in some ways.

8/17:

  • Drink 60 oz of water a day
  • Get some sleep!
  • Bring my lunch to work MF
  • Have a fruit and a vegetable each day
  • Gym on Tuesday, boot camp on Thursday and Friday

Slow and steady and all that.  I need to remember that I learn more from falling than from flying…

August 1, 2011 Posted by | boot camp, Diet Coke, ick, sweating | Leave a comment

Other People’s Birthdays Were the Perfect Excuse…

My boyfriend’s birthday was yesterday; obviously, we have spent the entire week celebrating (even though he didn’t want an actual party or cake or anything…  men. ugh.)…  It has been a week of movie popcorn and sushi and ice cream with one of the nieces (not the best combo, by the way) and eating out and….  fun.  it has been a whole lot of fun.  Amazingly, I am not feeling guilty about it.

My downfall is usually the snowball effect of guilt.  Oh, I messed up this one meal, so I’ll give up on the day (week, month, etc.).  Oh, I missed the gym this week, I should just stop going altogether.  It is so easy to fall into that cycle, that I’ve made myself into this weird yoyo healthy person – I’m either really, really healthy or I’m really, really not.

One of my goals this year has been to stop that drama.  There has to be a difference between setting and achieving goals and making unattainable plans for myself so that I am basically setting myself up to fail.  So, I didn’t make it to the gym to run this week – I did a whole lot of walking though and I still went to bootcamp last night (on his actual birthday – with his blessing, of course) and worked my booty off.  I even got a “good job” on my squats, which totally made my month.  And I may have been eating like a madwoman, but I’ve only been having half portions of all the wonderful crap everywhere, got back on my healthy breakfast track (yay, yogurt!) and have some healthy eating meals already to go next week.

I have been seeing a lot of changes in my body lately (which is what is to be expected when you lose 35 pounds and start exercising for the first time in your life), which shows progress in and of itself as I am no longer avoiding mirrors like the plague.  Oh, there are my cheek bonesOh, there are my hips again.  But, I’ve wondered if I am actually changing my habits or playing at a part (oh, here is what I would be if I was healthy – it is hard being a lapsed theater major, haha).  I think weeks like this prove that I am evolving.  I’m not beating myself up or using everything as an excuse; I’m living in (and very much enjoying) the moment while still trying to be closer to healthy and fit than I ever have.

I’m not a summer person (bring on the fall, please!?!), but I am really enjoying this one.  It is amazing what a shift in mindset can do…

July 22, 2011 Posted by | birthdays, boot camp, guilt, Who am I? | Leave a comment