Cubicle to Fit-ish

How a wimp becomes fit(ish)

Other People’s Birthdays Were the Perfect Excuse…

My boyfriend’s birthday was yesterday; obviously, we have spent the entire week celebrating (even though he didn’t want an actual party or cake or anything…  men. ugh.)…  It has been a week of movie popcorn and sushi and ice cream with one of the nieces (not the best combo, by the way) and eating out and….  fun.  it has been a whole lot of fun.  Amazingly, I am not feeling guilty about it.

My downfall is usually the snowball effect of guilt.  Oh, I messed up this one meal, so I’ll give up on the day (week, month, etc.).  Oh, I missed the gym this week, I should just stop going altogether.  It is so easy to fall into that cycle, that I’ve made myself into this weird yoyo healthy person – I’m either really, really healthy or I’m really, really not.

One of my goals this year has been to stop that drama.  There has to be a difference between setting and achieving goals and making unattainable plans for myself so that I am basically setting myself up to fail.  So, I didn’t make it to the gym to run this week – I did a whole lot of walking though and I still went to bootcamp last night (on his actual birthday – with his blessing, of course) and worked my booty off.  I even got a “good job” on my squats, which totally made my month.  And I may have been eating like a madwoman, but I’ve only been having half portions of all the wonderful crap everywhere, got back on my healthy breakfast track (yay, yogurt!) and have some healthy eating meals already to go next week.

I have been seeing a lot of changes in my body lately (which is what is to be expected when you lose 35 pounds and start exercising for the first time in your life), which shows progress in and of itself as I am no longer avoiding mirrors like the plague.  Oh, there are my cheek bonesOh, there are my hips again.  But, I’ve wondered if I am actually changing my habits or playing at a part (oh, here is what I would be if I was healthy – it is hard being a lapsed theater major, haha).  I think weeks like this prove that I am evolving.  I’m not beating myself up or using everything as an excuse; I’m living in (and very much enjoying) the moment while still trying to be closer to healthy and fit than I ever have.

I’m not a summer person (bring on the fall, please!?!), but I am really enjoying this one.  It is amazing what a shift in mindset can do…


July 22, 2011 Posted by | birthdays, boot camp, guilt, Who am I? | Leave a comment