Cubicle to Fit-ish

How a wimp becomes fit(ish)

I’m Such a No Right Now

I read a lot of health-related magazines.  At first, I think I used them as an excuse to continue being lazy; I may not actually exercise or eat right, but I sure as hell read a lot about it!  The more I read, though, the more intrigued I became about this world of food as energy and sneakers made specifically for running and exercise gear…

Now that I am on my way to becoming fit (or, fit-ish, haha), I re-read a lot of the magazines I’ve kept for inspiration.  Yes, I have slightly hoarding tendencies, but that’s another blog in and of itself.  I was looking at an old Fitness magazine and one phrase keeps sticking out at me:

 Be a Yes

I’m a wicked negative person.  I did not realize it as much when I was younger, but I see it so much more now.  My first gut reaction is always “no.”  My mind goes to the worst possible scenario for anything.  It is not a fun way to live.  I’ve spent so much time being down or afraid, that I’ve missed out on so many opportunities.  This all hit me the most in 2009 when my grandfather died from Alzheimer’s and my uncle died suddenly a few months after.  I wish I could say that these losses spurred me into this rosy, carpe diem world where I just go for it and live, live, live…

That isn’t how life works, though.  I spent a year being scared and half-assedly trying to be healthier (I’ll only eat HALF of this bag of cheezits for breakfast…  I’ll only have 3 slices of garlic bread…  I’ll exercise once a month…).  Then, I got sick and couldn’t eat or function for 6 months.  BIG eye opener.

And, THEN, I turned 33 last November.  30 didn’t hit me badly – my 20’s were awful and I’m glad they’re gone – but, I was 33 and a shell of what I used to be.  I used to be a theater person.  I used to have fun clothes and shoes and dye my hair and go to the movies and read awesome books…  I used to be fun and exciting.  Now, I’m 33 and I just go through the motions.

It infuriated me.  And, I didn’t want to complain about all of this for another year and do nothing.  I’m sick of my complaining (and so is my boyfriend!)…  So, I made a list of 33 things I want to do while I’m 33.  And 80% of them involved things I’m scared of, things I think I’m allergic to, and exercise (the rest involved movies and vacations, because, why not?!!).

Highlights:

#2: Do 10 pushups in a row

#5: Try three types of seafood

#14: Be comfortable on the elliptical (it makes me SO dizzy!)

#33: Run a 12 minute mile

 

But, really, what I want to do is BE A YES.  I don’t want to be a no anymore.  I want to have adventures and not just watch people having them on tv (even though, I do love my tv).  That is what this year is about for me and why I am just throwing myself off the exercise cliff.  I have no choice – the time has to be now.

I am also all about not judging my failures as harshly, as well, as my entire healthy self should not be brought down by one bad meal or one missed workout.  I did not make it to the gym this weekend, but I did a lot of life thinking which needed to be done.  A girl I work with was murdered on Friday, and I think it instigated a lot of this drama going on in my head.  She was only a couple of years older than me and left kids and a family. Life is so short and anything can happen.

Also, I have to decide if I am going to teach the fall semester at the community college I’ve been at as a part-time adjunct for last few years.  Part of me loves it and part of me dreads it.  It is a lot of work on top of a full time day job, but I love talking about books.  BUT, I had a creepy stalker situation and the whole thing is a huge source of anxiety for me now.  How do I choose?

Healthy Plan for the Week:

  • Monday: Plan dinners for the week and go to bed early
  • Tuesday: GYM!
  • Wednesday: Medicine ball workout
  • Thursday: BOOTCAMP!
  • Friday: Rest
  • Saturday: BOOTCAMP!
  • Sunday: Rest and plan dinners for the week
Advertisements

July 11, 2011 - Posted by | 33 Things to do While I'm 33, Who am I?, wimpy-ness

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: